Friday, March 26, 2010

Always pack it yourself

I realise I should be putting up a run down of what I've been up to this last week and a bit (as is customary and expected on a travel blog) but as I forgot my list and this will probably be the only opportunity in a while for me to write something you'll have to put up with something a little different ^_^

Being Human is to participate in the weirdest rituals ever known. Your probably thinking - that's all very well to say, but there isn't a whole lot to compare us to - this is true - but when you hear of fetishes involving dressing up in leather, being whipped into submission whilst pushing a hard boiled egg across the floor with your nose, you honestly have to wonder.

So now your thinking - yeah but Lesley, that's incredibly rare... (either that or how could he (yes it was a he) possibly have come to that realisation and particular combination of oddities - process of elimination?)

Ignoring the later, I agree with your point - its rare, so lets look at a fact much more common - so common that its performed by more than half the population on a regular basis(monthly if your of Mediterranean descent like me) I'm referring to the removal of hair from our bodies - more specifically the most painful way - that is the process of lathering your skin in hot lava like goo then waiting till it dries slightly and becomes sticky enough to rip of (along with your hair and at least two layers of skin) with strips of roughly torn calico.


In a society so focused on aesthetic sensibilities I can understand why it continues to this day - but how did it begin, what were the Egyptians thinking when they decided body hair was no longer an attractive accessory? Furthermore, should we be taking beauty advice from the same people that brought us mummification, that's right, the process of yanking your brains out through your nasal cavity along with other essential organs only to then store them in ornate jars alongside your decaying body ready for the possibility of a prosperous afterlife...

As I lie there once a month on a hard slim bed, my legs spread at odd angles, my hands above my head exposing my vulnerable armpits wearing only bra and panties I really wonder about the rituals we consider necessary. Then as if having all my hair and skin yanked of for an hour by a big bossumed lady with a thick accent sweating and squinting I have to shell out 60 dollars afterwords - I actually pay for what sane people would perceive to be torture!

So to reiterate - "Being Human is to participate in the weirdest rituals ever known"

I leave you now with my advice for the week:

Always pack left overs yourself; I learnt this the hard way when dining at the cheesecake factory today I asked them to put what was left of my meal (a significant amount) in a takeaway container - all I found in there once leaving the restaurant was two pieces of chicken and some lettuce... you've been warned


  1. Hey Lesley, Thing are good. Crazy busy. How about you? Yes, I still do caricatures at parties.

  2. Whoa, new blog design. Looks swanky!

    Keep in mind that a lot of what you said really only applies to the Westernised culture. I'm sure indigeneous and native people don't engage in such practices.

    What would really be awesome is developing better ways to remove hair! Have you considered the 'ol laser? The costs are coming down, and it's a fair nicer method of removing hair... or just don't do it at all and wear jeans all the time... ;)

  3. No they just put plates in their lips - rings on their necks, pull out every hair on their head one at a time oh and stick their hands in a hives of spitting ants for 30 minutes to officially become adults... I'm telling you dude- we are soooo weird!

    lasers a bit pricey - maybe one day ^_^